On a cold January 1992 day
I went to my friends to play.
Toys scattered the floor
As he walked in and closed the door.
He locked anyone from coming in
From allowing the outside to see his sin.
Forcing a little girl to the bed
I trembled at what he said.
“I will tie your hands down
If you make another sound
You would not want me to do that would you?”
If only somebody knew.
Tears streamed down my face
As he took me to an unthinkable place.
His eyes pierced me with a cold look
That I would one day describe in a book.
Screaming out to my best friend
Just wanting the horror to end.
My loud screams went unheard
You could not hear a word.
He covered my mouth with his hand to silence me.
I cried out for mommy and daddy wanting to be free.
I cannot get the whites of his eyes out of my head
Or the horror that went on in that bed.
He forced himself inside of me
Holding himself up by one hand and knee.
I was at the tender age of six and a half
And all he could do was smile and laugh.
Sweat fell from his bald head and poured down his face
As he forced my hand to touch his private place.
When he was all done he up and walked out the door.
That day I went through unimaginable horror.
I kept silent for fifteen years
And it still brings tears.
My innocence is what he killed
The rest of my life I had to start and rebuild.
Little did I know another man was waiting for his turn.
Oh the life lessons I have come to learn.
I learned to let go of the shame
For I was not to blame.
I let go of the anger and rage.
It helped to turn another page.
The tears still visit me in the night
When the time feels most right.
I went back and reclaimed my voice
For this was a time to rejoice.
No longer trapped and abused by evil men
That was back then.
I’m living for today
Letting God lead the way.