Self Disclosure

Get well card from my childhood friend Ashley while I was in the hospital after I put my hand through the window at 7 years old.

    7 year old Erin artwork

“I like Heaven because you can see God and

you can run as fast as you want.

I love God because he made me.”

I disclose so much of my life in my first book Stolen Innocence and my second book Living For Today. The images above connect with my 2nd book. The getwell card that I have saved all these years later from my childhood friend Ashley after I put my hand through the window at 7 years old. Then artwork I drew in classroom when I was 7 years old. Showing that even at the young age of 7 I knew God and knew he made me.

This artwork says so much about my second book a huge chapter I disclose that is linked to why I put my hand through the window. The drawing about Heaven and God shows me that he was always there with me as a child even as I lived in horror. Which is why I survived and became the woman I am today. The artwork speaks for itself and shows you even at a young age I did have one person to turn to and that was God.

With my 2nd book now reaching into the homes of many more of my life is being disclosed. A personal choice I made when writing Living For Today. I will never forget sitting in my apartment at college 2 years ago writing chapter 4. It was never intended to be published but I realized in time that I had nothing to be ashamed of. I feared what people might think of me disclosing this. Those that have been inspired by my voice in my first book to find out I was still carrying silence. Knowing people that have already judged me for my first book will only judge me more with my second book. Knowing there are people I cross paths with that are completely uncomfortable with this topic I have exposed. There are people out there who know me from work, church, and friends who would never talk about my books to me and some feel I should not self-disclose this about myself. There are people that would never utter a single word to me about my mission in shattering the silence of sexual abuse, but I know they are reading my books, visiting my website and yes reading this blog. There are so many of you that come to this blog but stay in the shadows. It is not that I am trying to make you come out from stopping in and seeing what I am writing about but it is my hope that those of you that do stop by will at some point express yourself.

Then there are those that are reading my books, visiting my website, and reading my blog that think what I have done  by going public is completely wrong and guess what you are entitled to your opinion. I know there are people in my neighborhood who know about my public crusade, friends of my parents, coworkers, friends from high school, college friends, etc. that are right now or in the near future going to be picking up Living For Today and some may become inspired by my message, others may find their voice, some may just pick it up because they are curious and want to know and form opinions.  Some of these people will share with me others will never say a word to me about it because it is uncomfortable topic for them. I know each and every time I walk into a restaurant, grocery store, bank, etc. in my town that there may be someone there who has read both my books and knows so much about me because I made the decision to self-disclose and put a very hushed topic on the table. Then there are the people I once called family much of whom I assume have already started reading or are reading Living For Today. Curious to see what I shared this time. They will discover I told the truth of what happened to our family…Truth they will deny.

The truth of the matter is by going public and self-disclosing it has been like allowing the public to walk into my house, into my bedroom, open the doors of my closet, and see how I live. That is how I see it. I am letting people into my life and being an example of what so many people have been through when it comes to incest and sexual abuse. I’ve opened the doors to my soul and the memories of my life into two books by self-disclosing the truth.

The good I see of self-disclosing definitely outweighs the bad. To those of you, and I know your reading this that come here to lurk into my life but are staying in the shadows keep coming back maybe you’ll get enough courage to voice yourself….even those of you that have disowned me. I took this stand and went public with the risk of being judged for self-disclosing and guess what I will not let anyone stop me from continuing my crusade to expose evil and put a voice on sexual abuse.

God Bless You All!