Lately I feel as if there is not enough time in the day to get things accomplished. The day just slips away and I always try to be in bed no later then ten thirty because working with high school students can be a physical workout on my brain. Being a social work intern three days a week for my grad internship I feel there is not enough time in the week to fit all the students in on my caseload. Of course one always happens to be absent the day I send for them.
The job is very busy and can be very rewarding and trying at the same time. There are students I see amazing progress since August and others I feel I am going in circles with. My most difficult students are those gang and drug involved. I really try to explain to them how destructive the decisions they are making and the road that will lead them to. My dad tells me every morning as I walk out the door around 6am. “Go save a kid.”
The school year sure is going by quickly making me realize some major decisions and things I need to get accomplished. I graduate with my masters in social work on May 12th. My internship at the high school will continue until June 13th. Between now and May I need to find a job I can begin in June. My top priority is finding a job with good health insurance because what it cost for private insurance I cannot afford and unfortunately I need the health insurance because of the seizure medication I am on. I am suppose to be on it two years. Its been a year…phew..one down one more to go. I cannot wait to be off it. Its 500mg and one of the biggest side affects is sleepiness and anxiety. I have really noticed the sleepiness it has had on me. I feel ever since I started it the energy I used to have has been sucked out of me. I have half the energy that I used to and I know it is the medication. So I really look forward to when I can be off it. After all I don’t have a seizure condition I just had one seizure and its been over a year since that happened. I honestly believe that one seizure was more of God’s wake up call on my life. It gave me a reality check and allowed me to get vulnerable and let go of wanting control. I let go of a lot of things in my life after that.
So I feel the pressure of graduation just around the corner, finding a job with good health insurance in this crazy economy, and making the final touches to my 2nd book that I have to get back to my editor next month. I feel like I have a lot to accomplish in such a short time and it doesn’t help when your body is telling you to go to sleep. I am at this place in my life right now that I am willing to get up and relocate anywhere in America. My dad encourages me to stay home for another year since I have undergrad and graduate loans to pay but I feel I will go which ever way the wind blows me in the direction God sends me. I am waiting for the door of opportunity to open. I have prayed about it a lot and just hope the perfect opportunity appears. My heart is pushing me in one direction lately I just have to see in the opportunity comes around.
Only time will tell. It is in God’s hands is what I tell myself.