The image above is the first page of ideas that I poured on paper in June 2006 for the book that would turn into my second book Living For Today. I remember that night sitting in bed jotting down my thoughts for my 2nd book and what first came to my mind when I was asked to write a second book. Little did I know the journey this book would take me on. A journey of many sleepless nights in front of a computer screen pouring my soul out and chapters unfolding as I wrote. It is crazy to open this up and read these first few ideas I jotted down. The message about “It’s never too late to break your silence, break your silence today.” I was writing this in June 06 and here I was not reading my own message right in my face. I was still carrying silence. I get chills just reading that now.
“Live by the saying what does not kill me makes me stronger.” I strongly stand by that sentence. Because I have learned if you stay weak and allow evil to consume you it will eventually kill you. It nearly killed me.
What I want anyone reading this to know is anything is possible if you do not give up. I am often asked how I became an author at a young age. It was because through determination, strength, tears, and faith I did not give up and turned my own journal or jotted thoughts into a message for millions to dive into and understand they are not alone. If you have a dream or vision go after it. If you go after it and do not give up you can accomplish it. Believe me when I say that. You may hit bumps in the road to getting that dream or vision accomplished but if you keep on pushing along you will see success.
There were many chapters of writing Living For Today that I honestly did not want to share with the public because of what people would think of me:
- Being judged for speaking out yet at the same time still holding onto a dark chapter
- Questioned why I could put myself at a young age in harms way over and over again
- Overcoming self-injury in high school only to fall into an eating disorder in college that consumed my life for 3 1/2 years.
- My faith and ability to forgive
- Praying for God to protect the evil men in my past
Looking back now all that matters to me is how much healing I discovered when I made the choice to address those chapters I wanted to avoid letting the public in on. There are going to be those who will have their nasty opinions of Living For Today and I have decided not to allow people from my past keep me from from my mission. People are entitled to their opinion and I know there are people out there outside those related to me that will also judge me for going public and guess what…… I do not care! Because I know far greater things will come out of Living For Today through my message that will allow people in pain to find a door forward not back.
As I think back on that first night I began jotting down my thoughts for my 2nd book 3 years ago I now think about the people who are sitting up in bed tonight, tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year who are reading Living For Today and I hope the pain they wrestle with will find through the chapters of Living For Today hope, healing, peace, and God.
God Bless and Good Luck!