Warning: May Trigger Many Please Read with Caution

On a cold January 1992 day

I went to my friends to play.

Toys scattered the floor

As he walked in and closed the door.

He locked anyone from coming in

From allowing the outside to see his sin.

Forcing a little girl to the bed

I trembled at what he said.

“I will tie your hands down

If you make another sound

You would not want me to do that would you?”

If only somebody knew.

Tears streamed down my face

As he took me to an unthinkable place.

His eyes pierced me with a cold look

That I would one day describe in a book.

Screaming out to my best friend

Just wanting the horror to end.

My loud screams went unheard

You could not hear a word.

He covered my mouth with his hand to silence me.

I cried out for mommy and daddy wanting to be free.

I cannot get the whites of his eyes out of my head

Or the horror that went on in that bed.

He forced himself inside of me

Holding himself up by one hand and knee.

I was at the tender age of six and a half

And all he could do was smile and laugh.

Sweat fell from his bald head and poured down his face

As he forced my hand to touch his private place.

When he was all done he up and walked out the door.

That day I went through unimaginable horror.

I kept silent for fifteen years

And it still brings tears.

My innocence is what he killed

The rest of my life I had to start and rebuild.

Little did I know another man was waiting for his turn.

Oh the life lessons I have come to learn.

I learned to let go of the shame

For I was not to blame.

I let go of the anger and rage.

It helped to turn another page.

The tears still visit me in the night

When the time feels most right.

I went back and reclaimed my voice

For this was a time to rejoice.

No longer trapped and abused by evil men

That was back then.

I’m living for today

Letting God lead the way.

-erin merryn-